Since I've started my new job, I've struggle to try to fit in. I'm a loner by nature but I know that until people get to know you, being a loner can be mistaken for being stand-offish so try to come out of my shell a little, at least until my probation is up.
The lady who works on my team is the one I am having the most difficult time with. She is very social and is constantly wanting to buy gifts for people for this and that for which I am expected to chip in, she wanted us to buy company shirts so we could dress alike (*sigh*) and she always wants to go out to lunch. Most of the time I turn her down. She rarely wants to do something that doesn't cost money. I do not go to work just so I can spend it all on trivial things.
I bring my lunch every day. Every day. Such is my state of financial affairs. I have went out to lunch a couple of times with the group but apparently they go out a couple of times a month for these lunches and I can see that this will get real expensive real fast. Last time, the birthday lunch cost me $26 dollars which is more than I usually spend on lunch in 2 weeks time.
Last week, I politely declined to go out with the gang. No one else seemed to care but this particular co-worker rolled her eyes and accused me of being difficult to get to know.
The new challenge is that she texts me constantly usually to let me know that she has arrived and for me to let her know if I'm enroute and when I am expected. I do not have unlimited texting on my phone and these texts cost me. I was looking at my cell bill today and I'm going to have to tell her to knock off the text pages; I bet she'll think I'm just being a meanie. Any suggestions for how I can approach this subject for someone who is basically clueless?
Co-worker doesn't respect my frugality
October 5th, 2008 at 12:19 am
October 5th, 2008 at 12:31 am 1223166699
October 5th, 2008 at 12:53 am 1223167985
It is hard to work with folks like that. You aren't the only one who has been like this.
I find if you flat out say either "I can't afford it" or "I'm saving up for a " it works.
October 5th, 2008 at 02:23 am 1223173424
As for the coworker, I would explain that you prefer not to spend your money on eating out and the other things that she does. Don't make it sound like she's wrong to do so. Just make it clear that your financial situation and priorities are different.
October 5th, 2008 at 03:16 am 1223176610
October 5th, 2008 at 03:23 am 1223176993
Something else we do at my company is have office potlucks. The bigwigs (i.e. men, i.e managers) usually donate $5 - 10 towards food costs, and then the ladies sign up for food dishes to bring. Then at lunchtime we all enjoy each others creations and sit around and talk and laugh. This happens maybe 4 or 5 times a year.
So . . maybe you could find a way to bring up the idea of an office potluck? Or maybe you could go out to lunch with the others - but eat a really good sized breakfast, then get just an appetizer or something small at lunch - go maybe two or three times a month. Or if you notice other people who tend to bring their lunches, maybe you could get together with them and take turns bringing in food to share. A couple of my coworkers do that - they all eat meat, and I don't, so I haven't been included in it.
And like DisneySteve said, all you have to do to stop unwanted text messages completely is to ask your phone company to block text messages. You may also be able to block specific numbers from texting you as well.
October 5th, 2008 at 03:23 am 1223177030
October 5th, 2008 at 02:16 pm 1223216214
October 5th, 2008 at 02:37 pm 1223217463
I agree that it might be necessary, to get her off your back, to tell her, either privately or in a group setting, that you don't want to spend money on eating out so much becus you are saving up for something, something that she'd never know about or whether you were or not, like, say, a kitchen renovation or some big new purchase for the house. Then you have a good excuse.
October 5th, 2008 at 07:15 pm 1223234123
You can cancel that text messaging feature on your phone so no one can send you test msgs. That's what I did. It cost about .10 to send and receive but it adds up.
You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You're not hurting anyone. If they can't respect you that's their problem.
October 5th, 2008 at 08:37 pm 1223239078
October 5th, 2008 at 09:24 pm 1223241856
If she needs to notify you, why can she not call and say: i'm here or where are you?
Since it is a new job i can understand the wanting to fit in and there is a whole new company culture to learn. I'd take her aside and just say: I can go to lunch on the third friday of the month (or what ever works for you. Oh and, can you not text me? it is not a free service on my phone and i need to pay for them.
October 5th, 2008 at 09:26 pm 1223241994
Fortunately, I lived close enough to go home for lunch, and told them that I had a dog that couldn't wait nine or ten hours to go outside, and I had to let him out.
When they wanted ten or twenty dollars for gifts for people I didn't even know, I told them I had already purchased something for that person. I would find something nice, on clearance, like a nice picture frame, and wrap it nicely. It worked, and no one seemed to care. Once, I needed two gifts for clients who were older kids being adopted. I used a calligraphy type print on my computer, and copied it on a nice quality paper, using the child's new legal name, and wrote the name, and "from this day forward" and the date, and put it in a 5X7 silver frame. They loved it. The frames were purchased on sale, so each gift cost about five dollars. Be creative!