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The husband's charging again

May 28th, 2008 at 05:29 pm

A little background: my hubby and I keep our finances separate. Naturally both of our names are on the mortgage and we split what is needed for the house 50%. Having said that, we are married and what happens to him affects me and vice versa. Back in October I think it was, I found out he was in $42,000 of credit card debt. A significant portion of this was due to late fees and finance charges. I offered to help him figure out a plan to pay this debt down and he accepted. For the record, after bills my husband has about $2000 a month left to buy gas, groceries and play with. That's after he contributes a measly 8% to his 401K. And he plows through all of that and still has to use a credit card? Now you can see why I am really, really annoyed.

Now as for his repayment plan, it involved me moving his credit cards to cards with 0% rates and drastically stepping up the payoff. He was making minimum payments of course. I still left him with about $800 of money to buy gas and groceries etc. Then I left him alone because he was getting real stiff and tense when I would ask him if he's paid xyz bill and if made any extra money so he could apply it to the credit cards. Since I am not interested in being his mother/watchdog/nag I let it go and stopped looking over his shoulder and trusted him to pay it off according to the plan I put into place. And what do I find out? The idiot has charged about $500 worth of stuff on one of the cards that the balance was transferred away.

He cannot be trusted. Our finances are separate but what he does could affect me and the kids future prosperity and the truth is that with this guy, I will never prosper. If I don't stay on his case, he'll charge himself into bankruptcy within a year. He has already asked me to sign giving him permission to take a loan from his 401K so he can pay the cards off(I refused).

$2000 a month invested at 8% annual interest is how much in 10 years? And we have to give it to the credit card people. Sheesh...

Any suggestions on how to rein this guy in? We've been married for 18 years but this worries me. Tremendously. I hate being put in the position of uptight bitch but what else to do?

4 Responses to “The husband's charging again”

  1. traineeinvestor Says:

    Autopay to direct more money out of his bank account where it belongs. If the numbers stack up, an arrangement that results in at least the interest bearing cards being automatically paid in full each month would be a good idea (if not then at least increasing the minimum payments). A pair of scissors being applied to at least some of his cards may help.

    Reading a few financial self help books together may help change his mindset. If the children are old enough asking him to help educate the children about financial responsbility is a possibility.

    Setting a shared savings goal may help act as carrot (e.g. contributing $X each to the children's future education fund or a goal of contributing $Y as an additional payment on the mortgage in three months time).

    As a final comment (and I have no idea whether it is relevant here or not) but two of the reasons why people spend money are stress and boredom. If either of these is contributing to the problem then it may be possible to do something about the cause.

  2. Broken Arrow Says:

    Well, if he's serious his finances, he can stop using his credit card and go back to cash.

  3. sagegirl Says:

    Maybe you should try to convince him to lock up (or cut up) all his cards but the one with the lowest credit limit. Or maybe try explaining to him (the way you did hear because it sounds very rational to me) that this really bothers you, that although your finances are separate, that everything he does financially still affects you and the children. I hope you find a good solution that would work for both of you. Best wishes!!

  4. gamecock43 Says:

    That SUCKS!! That is my worst nightmare. Good luck and keep us posted on the progress.

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